Personal Bill Of Rights

• Life should have choices beyond mere survival.
• You have a right to say no to anything when you feel you are not ready or it is unsafe.
• Life should not be motivated by fear.
• You have a right to all your feelings.
• You are probably not guilty.
• You have a right to make mistakes.
• There is no need to smile when you cry.
• You have a right to terminate conversations with people who make you feel put down or humiliated.
• You can be healthier than those around you.
• It is OK to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.
• You have a right to change and grow.
• It is important to set limits and be selfish.
• You can be angry with someone you love.
• You can take care of yourself no matter what circumstances you are in.

The original and ‘other’ Laundry List are here.

Flip Side of the Laundry List

1. We move out of isolation and are not unrealistically afraid of other people, even authority figures.
2. We do not depend on other to tell us who we are.
3. We are not automatically frightened by angry people and no longer regard personal criticism as a threat.
4. We do not have a compulsive need to recreate abandonment.
5. We stop living from the standpoint of victims and are not attracted by this trait in our love and friendship relationships.
6. We do not use enabling as a way to avoid looking at our own shortcomings.
7. We do not feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves.
8. We avoid emotional intoxication and choose workable relationships instead of constant upset.
9. We are able to distinguish love from pity, and do not think “rescuing” people we “pity” is an act of love.
10. We come out of denial about our traumatic childhoods and regain the ability to feel and express our emotions.
11. We stop judging and condemning ourselves and discover a sense of self-worth.
12. We grow in independence and are no longer terrified of abandonment. We have interdependent relationships with healthy people not dependent relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.
13. The characteristics of alcoholism and para alcoholism we have internalized are identified acknowledged and removed.
14. We are actors, not reactors.